Bedtime Routines
What makes a great bedtime routine for babies and children?
A consistent bedtime routine helps children feel calm, safe, and ready for sleep. Here we look at what actually matters in a routine, how long it should be, and how parents can stay consistent — even when life gets busy. Simple is usually best.
A great bedtime routine is just a series of familiar steps leading up to bedtime. In time, your baby will come to recognise each step as a sleep association Good sleep associations help babies to fall asleep more easily.
A great bedtime routine should be simple, short and it should start about half an hour before they are ready to sleep.
The most important thing about a bedtime routine is the sequence. It’s ok to be flexible with what time you start it, depending on the naps.
What’s really important is that the routine happens very close to their actual bedtime. After the routine, go directly to your baby’s sleep space. If you go back into the living room, you risk re-energising them and giving them a ‘second wind.’
You want their routine to make them relaxed and ready to sleep, so take everything you need for the night with you when you start the routine. This way, you can keep them in their nighttime sleep space.
When they are newborn
In the very early weeks, your baby might not be ready to have a bedtime routine. The most important thing at this time is to get to know them, form a trusting bond and establish feeding.
It takes around 6 – 8 weeks for a baby to begin to get their days and nights sorted out. After this time they usually begin to sleep for longer periods during the night.
There are 7 keys things that you can do to help them along with this process:
1 – Feed them on demand. Babies are more settled with a full tummy and lots of cuddles.
2- “Cluster feed” in the evening. This means giving lots of feeds close together. The reason this helps is that in the evening, breast milk contains raised levels of Tryptophan. Tryptophan is an amino acid which converts to a sleep hormone!
3- Allow them to experience the difference between nighttime and daylight. This encourages the production of nighttime sleep hormones and helps to set your baby’s circadian clock.
4- Wind them well after the final feed. Hold them upright and use deep, circular strokes to the base of their back. This works better than tapping their upper back.
5 – Introduce a bedtime song or poem which will become a sleep association. Spoken or sung cues are lovely portable elements associated with sleep.
6 – Try whenever possible to put them into the cot relaxed but still awake. It’s important that when they wake later, they don’t feel confused about no longer being in your arms.
7 – At around 6-8 weeks, when your baby starts doing longer stretches of sleep at night time, introduce a lovely consistent bedtime routine.
The perfect bedtime routine!
♥ Don’t start too early! Half an hour before the expected sleep time is enough
♥ Turn the TV or radio off. Put on soft music or just have quietness. Put your phone away.
♥ Take everything that you need for the night with you, to avoid having to come back into the living room.
♥ Follow a similar bedtime “script” by using familiar phrases and actions during the routine.
♥ Bath them every night if you can. If you can’t, still try to have a washing “ritual” each night.
♥ Go directly to the room that your baby sleeps in from the bathroom.
♥ Dress them for bed – don’t worry if they’re wriggly & cross – they usually are at this time!
♥ Give the final feed in the bedroom and don’t let them fall asleep on it.
♥ Keep the light on or curtains open to prevent this
♥ Don’t give them their bottle in their cot.
♥ After the milk, look at a book together – sitting on your knee rather than in their cot.
♥ Put them into their cot whilst they are fully awake.
♥ Kiss them goodnight and then teach them how to fall asleep – knowing that now they are naturally ready to do it!
Other ways to help them sleep well
Many sleep problems are caused by babies being rocked or fed to sleep.
When babies wake up later, during a natural sleep cycle, they are understandably upset to be in a different place.
Most parents react by picking their baby up and rocking or feeding back to sleep again.
Remember: you cannot prevent your baby from waking in the night. What you can do is to teach them to feel comfortable in their cot and to settle back down.
The best way to do this is to put them down awake at the start of the night. Then leave them to self-settle if they’re ok with that. If they’re not, stay beside them using patting/stroking/kind words/singing etc. until they eventually settle. Give them as long as they need.
From about 2-3 months, they have a build-up of their internal sleep hormone [melatonin] towards the end of the day.
They also have a natural build-up of sleep pressure, which comes from how long they’ve been awake.
These important factors mean that babies are biologically programmed to sleep at the end of the day.
Don’t break the sleep pressure by letting them get too drowsy in your arms before putting them in the cot and they will soon go to sleep. Just give them time and don’t lose your confidence.
Wake Windows
It’s important to know your child’s ideal wake window, as this will let you know when the best time to start their bedtime routine is. When we refer to a baby or child’s wake window, we mean the periods when they are not sleeping. Your baby needs to have been awake for long enough to be able to go back to sleep. But if they’ve been awake for too long, they might br over tired and that will make it difficult for them to be able to relax and go to sleep!
Very young babies struggle to stay awake for more than a few minutes at a time, so their wake windows are very short. As they get older and build up stamina, their wake windows widen.
It’s good to know what the average wake windows are like for babies and children at various ages. But also, recognise your own child’s sleepy signs and their unique sleep needs and wake windows.
The neurotransmitter Adenosine influences the need for sleep and levels of it build up as energy is expended.
Take Home
A great bedtime routine can help your baby or child to fall asleep easily at bedtime and to sleep well during the night. It won’t work alone, however! You also need to think about how independently they fall asleep, their hunger and comfort levels, their wake windows and their sleep environment.
Further help
If you’re struggling with your child’s sleep either now or in the future, I am here to help you.
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Both of the plans contain helpful schedules for day and night time sleep.
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