Andrea Grace
Child & baby sleep specialist
Andrea Grace
Child & baby sleep specialist
Dummies and Baby Sleep
Dummies and baby sleep has always been a subject for debate.
Dummies/pacifiers/soothers can help babies to sleep, but sometimes they can make sleep worse.
I’d say that virtually every parent has tried a dummy at some point. Some babies love them and others won’t accept them and won’t be fooled!
And whilst the use of a dummy can sometimes be detrimental to sleep – as any parent who is up and down several times a night replacing their baby’s lost dummy will tell you – there is no doubt that in some circumstances, they have their advantages.
5 dummies & baby sleep plus points
- Can help ease the symptoms of colic and reflux.
- May help a “sucky” baby to space out their feeds.
- Often provides comfort during illness.
- Helps premature, tube fed babies to establish feeding from the breast or bottle.
- The rhythmic and natural sucking process is comforting and can help to induce sleep.
However, whilst a dummy may be a Godsend in your baby’s early weeks, the advantages are often only very short term.
Over time, the dummy can end up working against you rather than to your advantage.
If your baby becomes over dependent on the dummy and is only able to fall asleep whilst sucking, it can cause problems.
Because when they fall asleep, the dummy is likely to fall out and it may need replacing several times in the night!
During the first year or two of your baby’s life, when they are teething or have a cold, their tiny nasal passages are easily blocked. When this happens they will struggle to breathe through their nose – especially when lying flat.
If your baby is waking during the night to have the dummy replaced, you have 2 choices:
- Get rid of the dummy altogether.
- Teach them how to manage it by themselves.
How to help your older baby self manage their dummy at night:
It is usually from about 8 months old that babies start to be able to self manage their dummy. At this point, dummies and baby sleep becomes less of an issue. To encourage them to manage their own dummy, hand it to them instead of putting it into their mouth.
• During bath time, play “race for the dummy” game, where you challenge them to beat you at picking up the dummy first and put it in their mouth.
• Place plenty of dummies in her cot at night, so they can find a spare if they lose one.
• If they call out for you during the night, having lost the dummy, try to give it to them into their hand rather than putting it in their mouth.
.......0r should I just take it away?
If the dummy is causing them to wake up, they can’t put it back by themselves and there’s no good reason for them having it, it is best to just ditch the dummy!
You might dread them giving it up, but although the first couple of nights might be tough, babies very quickly adapt and more often than not, their sleep improves as a result.
Also, there are clear health reasons why not having a dummy can outweigh the benefits of having one.
5 dummies & baby sleep minus points
Sometimes, dummies and baby sleep are not a match made in heaven!
- There is a link between dummy use and ear infections.
- Using a dummy during the day may delay your baby’s speech development.
- There may be an increased risk of stomach and other infections.
- Dentists advise against the use of dummies [and thumb sucking] as these can lead to orthodontic problems in the future.
- When your baby’s nose is blocked, it’s difficult for them to breathe and keep the dummy in at the same time.
How to get rid of the dummy
The best time to ditch the dummy is at bed time, when they are naturally most able to sleep. This is when they have the advantage of a build up of sleep pressure as well as their sleep hormones ready to help them to fall asleep.
They also have the familiar structure of their bedtime routine to support them when the dummy element is lost.
When they go into their cot, without their dummy for the first time, they may need a bit more support from you than usual for them to be able to sleep. This is fine, and when they are falling asleep more confidently without it, you can withdraw and let them fall asleep more independently.
Carry on without the dummy on the following day. Its best to get rid of the dummy completely rather than having it at some times and not others – this may just prolong the dependence.
You may dread the thought of losing it but babies are incredibly quick learners and for the majority, any feelings of loss around the dummy are gone within a day or two.
Dummy case study - Rafi 6 months
Rafi had been sleeping well during the night, with just one wake-up around 3 or 4 am until he hit the 4-month sleep regression!
He had already dropped his nighttime formula feeds, but he began waking in the night several times just to have his dummy replaced.
He was still sleeping in his parents’ bedroom and they wanted his sleep to be better before they moved him to his own room.
They needed to get rid of the dummy!
The Sleep plan
Follow a very consistent bedtime routine – Starting around 1.5 hours after he’s woken from his last daytime nap.
Bath him every night and afterwards take him directly to the bedroom.
After his last feed, look at the same book together – this is a great sleep clue for him.
Then turn the light off together and put him into his cot without the dummy.
His body is “programmed” for sleep at this time, so sleep will come!
Kiss him goodnight, then potter in and out of the room. He might cry or call for you – this is fine. Don’t worry – he’s going to be ok.
If he’s just wakeful and fussing but not upset, you can return to him every few minutes to reposition him; have some affectionate words and eye contact and give him a little kiss.
If Rafi is very upset by not having his dummy, you can stay next to him.
Sit beside the cot and pat/stroke him. Use a repeated phrase/song or just gentle conversation.
Pick him up and calm him in your arms if he is very upset.
Try and put him in his cot to actually fall asleep however.
Stay with him until he is in deep sleep.
During the night
When he wakes in the night, leave him just for a few moments to see if he can settle himself.
If he becomes upset, go to him and do exactly as you did at bedtime.
Don’t give him the dummy.
He may wake up a few times, in which case, be as consistent in your response as possible.
Expect him to be especially wakeful at 4/5 am, but stick to your plan!
In the morning
Get him up for the day any time after 6.30 am .
Open the curtains or turn the light on, as a daytime signifier and then very cheerfully lift him from his cot.
Bring him into the living room to start the day and have his first feed.
Naps
Once you’ve dropped the dummy at night, put him into his cot for naps without it too.
It’s best to drop the dummy for pram naps and car naps too.
If you’ve been using the dummy to comfort him during the day if he’s tired, sad or cross, you’ll find that a cuddle from you is even better than a suck on his dummy!
The Outcome
As predicted, Rafi had a tricky couple of nights when he woke frequently and needed settling back to sleep. On the first morning, he didn’t go back to sleep after a 5 am wake up.
The second night was slightly better, with no wakings until 5 am, but this time, he eventually settled back to sleep with help.
On the third night, he slept through until 6.30 am and has continued to sleep well since.
Dummy users tips!
If you decide to carry on with the dummy and drop it when your baby is a bit older, here are a few tips for happy dummy use!
- • Don’t dip your baby’s dummy into a sweet solution, as this will cause tooth decay.
- • Use an orthodontic teat, which has less of a tendency to push your baby’s teeth forward.
- • Keep it as clean as you possibly can. Its never going to be sterile when your baby’s handling it but wash it often and check for cracks or tears.
- • Don’t tie, tape or strap the dummy to keep it in your baby’s mouth – this is so dangerous!
- • Try to keep the dummy just for sleep. Having it during the daytime can affect speech development.
- • With very young babies, don’t allow the dummy to replace milk feeds.
Further help
If you’re struggling with your child’s sleep either now or in the future, I am here to help you.
My books
My bestselling books give you the tools to help your baby and yourself get a good night’s sleep. They are full of expert, practical advice and case studies. Each book teaches you to create your baby or child’s personal sleep plan and is written in a clear and accessible style.
They are available in all formats from Amazon and other booksellers.
My courses
My courses are a mix of video, graphics and easy-to-read text. They are a great way to access my expert help – from your phone, tablet or laptop. The courses have no expiry date and are updated frequently. The Gentle Sleep Course is very comprehensive, easy to dip in and out of and is very empowering.
The Early Waking Course is concise and accessible – it takes around an hour to complete and it may be the best hour you’ve ever spent!
Both of the courses contain helpful schedules for day and night time sleep.
My Private Consultations
If you choose to book a one-to-one consultation with me, you will receive my expert, individual advice.
You will be in very safe, experienced hands and I treat every parent and child with kindness. As a qualified health professional, I can help if your baby or you have medical needs. I have helped over 15,000 families from all over the world to get a good night’s sleep.
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