Andrea Grace
Child & baby sleep specialist
Andrea Grace
Child & baby sleep specialist
Moving your child from a cot to a bed
Moving your child from a cot to a bed marks a significant and happy milestone in their development!
If you handle the transition well, your child should sleep just as well as when they were in their cot.
When is the best time?
There is no set time that is right to move a child from a cot to a bed.
Often the decision is prompted by them climbing out, or you need the cot for a new baby.
If your child is ready to come out of nighttime nappies, they will usually need to move to a bed, so they can use the potty or toilet.
Most children move out of a cot to a bed somewhere between the ages of two and three and a half.
If they are happy in the cot, it is big enough for them, and they’re still in nappies, there is no reason to move them.
If you are moving your toddler out of the cot to make room for a new baby, leave a few weeks between moving your older one out and the younger one in.
Making the move
Explain to your child that they are going to sleep in a big bed and let them help you move the cot from the room and put the new bed up.
Or if they are in a cot bed, let them be involved in converting it to a toddler bed.
Involve them in choosing their bedding and any other bed-related objects such as a cup for their bedside water. Allowing them to take ownership of their new bed will give them positive sleep associations around it.
If you’re in a couple, it’s a good idea for both of you if possible to do bedtime and to do it in the same way. This is to let them know that even though their bed has changed, the “sleep rules” are the same.
Make it fun!
During the day, before your child sleeps in the new bed themselves, encourage a game where they put their toys into their new bed. Leave the room and let the toys go to sleep alone. Then come back in and, ‘wake the toys’ and praise the toys for sleeping in their bed! Through this little play, your child will receive the subtle message that you will be happy if they do the same.
Other changes you can make
If there are any other changes that
you’d like to make, such as getting rid of their dummy, bottle or their white noise device, this is your opportunity!
A change in environment can help with a behaviour change or a change in routine. If you’ve been used to staying beside them as they fall asleep in their cot, this could be a perfect opportunity to change that!
If they usually wear a sleep bag, you can replace it with a toddler duvet, or sheet and blanket.
They can also now have a small flat pillow if you like. However, from a physiological point of view they don’t really need one.
If your child needs a night light, choose a red one. Red light won’t affect their sleep hormone production like other colours do.
Get rid of the cot!
Avoid keeping the old cot in their room if you can, as this can cause confusion and night-time bed swapping. If their room is the only space for the cot, fill it with their stuff and use it as a toy box. This is unless the cot is being used for a younger sibling!
Keep everything as simple as possible and don’t give too many choices at night-time. This helps toddlers cut down on bedtime procrastination, tears and delay.
Putting them into their new bed
On the evening of the new bed change, keep up your usual, reassuring bedtime routine before saying goodnight to them just as you normally do. Don’t expect any changes, and if you can demonstrate by your manner that all is as normal, your child is more likely to feel ok about the new bed.
Leave the room on a very positive note, even if they do seem to be a bit unsure, over excited or very wakeful. If they don’t want you to leave, tell them, “I’m going to do my jobs but I’ll come back in a few minutes!” Return to them shortly afterwards and praise them for being in bed. [If they are still in it!] Only stay for a few moments before leaving again, “I’m getting on with my jobs but you know I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
If they get out of bed
If they get out of bed and come to find you, it is very tempting to laugh or hug them, as they will look so cute. But if you do this, they may keep on doing it to get the lovely feedback and entertain you. Quite understandably, they will then be upset and confused when you are no longer finding it funny.
It is better to show them that you are surprised [not angry] that they are up and tell them they must stay in bed. Use positive language – so rather than saying “don’t get out of bed,” say, “stay in bed!”
Quickly and quietly take them back to bed and then, give them the good feedback and praise them warmly.
Leave again even if they are not happy about it but reassure them that you’ll be back.
Stick to your word and go back to praise and reassure them.
If they don’t stay in bed when you ask them to
If they don’t stay in bed or go back to bed when you ask them to , here’s a technique you can use to help.
Go into their room and close the door behind you. Stand with your back to the door, facing your child. Tell them just once to go to bed. Then wait quietly until they move towards the bed.
Don’t repeat yourself [they heard you the first time!] Don’t get sidetracked or involved in any delaying requests. If they ask for more stories/cuddles/food, you can respond with, “We’ll do that/see to that/get that/you can tell me about that…….in the morning.”
Having you standing there quietly, watching them but not interacting, is powerful and will make them feel compelled to do as you are asking. It might take them a long time, but they will go back to bed if you wait quietly. Don’t repeat the instruction, but you can say, “I’m waiting, my love.” Then when they show even the slightest signs of going back to bed, praise them warmly. This will encourage them and let them know that you are proud of them.
Safety gates
If your child keeps getting out of bed, you could fit a safety gate to their bedroom door. Introduce it in a positive manner, “This is your gate, to keep you safe!” It is better to have a safety gate than locking the door!
You will also need to have a dim light to keep them safe if they DO wander in the night. Choose one with a red glow which will not limit their sleep hormone [melatonin] production.
After following a loving and familiar bedtime routine, kiss them goodnight and tell them to stay in bed.
If they get up and come to the gate, take them back to bed. If they keep getting up, go out of their line of vision, leave them for a minute or two and then return to them and as calmly as possible, put them back to bed. You might have to repeat this many times before they eventually stay in bed. If they fall asleep on the floor, pick them up and carry them back to bed – even if it wakes them up. You might have to carry on the process late into the evening, but it’s better than them thinking it’s ok to sleep on the floor.
Remember that in the evening, they have high melatonin levels and if they’ve been awake for 5 + hours, they have built up the sleep pressure needed to help them fall asleep now.
Try not to be in the room as they go to sleep, as this is very likely to become a habit.
It might take them longer to get to sleep
You can expect it to take longer than normal for them to go to sleep, and this is natural because children like things to be predictable and familiar. The changes that you are making may make them unsure and wakeful at first.
Don’t panic and stay in the room with them to speed things up. If you do this, they will think it needs to happen every night. Unless they are upset, it’s better to let them settle alone, even if it takes a long time.
Once the novelty has worn off, they will be able to fall asleep more quickly.
If they wake during the night
If they wake and come to you, call for you or stand at their gate; go and check they’re ok then help them back into bed as you did at bedtime. Don’t ask them what’s wrong, or they may think there must be a problem! Just tell them it’s time to sleep now. At night, instead of “doing my jobs” you can say “I’m in bed now but I can hear you.”
If your child struggles to understand when it’s morning, you could try a sleep training clock.
Praise them in the morning
In the morning, offer them lots of specific praise, for example, “You slept in your big bed!” “You went back to bed when I asked you to!” This will affirm the positive bed/sleep associations for your child.
Further help
If you need help with your child’s sleep, either now or in the future, I am here to help you.
My books
My bestselling books give you the tools to help your baby and yourself get a good night’s sleep. They are full of expert, practical advice and case studies. Each book teaches you to create your baby or child’s personal sleep plan and is written in a clear and accessible style.
They are available in all formats from Amazon and other booksellers.
My courses
If you need help with their sleep, have a look at my sleep courses.
My courses are a mix of video, graphics and easy-to-read text. They are a great way to access my expert help – from your phone, tablet or laptop. The courses have no expiry date and are updated frequently. The Gentle Sleep Course is very comprehensive, easy to dip in and out of and is very empowering.
The Early Waking Course is concise and accessible – it takes around an hour to complete and it may be the best hour you’ve ever spent!
Both of the courses contain helpful schedules for day and night time sleep.
My 1:1 consultations
If you choose to book a one-to-one consultation with me, you will receive my expert advice and a gentle solution tailored to your child’s individual needs.
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